A Conditional Love Letter to Google

My beloved Google,


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

Ah, but Google, there are also some things you need to work on if we want this relationship to work.


Google, you’re a huge part of my life. I don’t think I can ever let you go. But that doesn’t mean I trust you blindly. I understand that at the end of the day, you’re a machine. I know that your functionality, while normally clean and pure, can be disorganized in some ways. I know that your goal of leading me to an enlightened future is often muddled in capitalism. I know you’re trying not to be evil, but you’re certainly not good. 

You’re not mine – you’re just my access point through which I interpret the Internet. You belong to something much bigger than me. And while I have to accept your faults at times, it doesn’t make me very happy.

Occasionally yours,


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